The Darwin Awards of Florida
They're going for the gold down there in Trumpland, y'all.
The Darwin Awards, as you may recall, were started in Usenet around 1985, became a website, books, and a film, and have since become firmly embedded in American culture. To review, Darwin awards are "given posthumously to people who have made the supreme sacrifice to keep their genes out of our pool. Style counts, not everyone who dies from their own stupidity can win.”
The criteria for candidacy have softened over the years; death is no longer a prerequisite for nomination. But the potential for unnecessary death, not limited to the candidate’s mortal coil, due to one’s own
Astoundingly stupid judgment
is still a prerequisite. For example, a 2006 nominee was a Brazilian man who tried to disassemble a Rocket Propelled Grenade (RPG) by driving back and forth over it with a car. This method was unsuccessful, so he took to manual persuasion, pounding the RPG with a sledgehammer. The resultant explosion demised one man, six cars, and the repair shop where he was working.
Also, Darwin Award candidates must be presumed
Capable of sound judgment
As, for example, the voters of Florida, who elected Ron DeSantis, Marco Rubio, and Republican chairman Christian Ziegler — who is under police investigation into an allegation of sexual assault.
I admit that it is an article of my faith in people that they are capable of sound judgment, but of late, my faith has been profoundly shaken. Nevertheless, as a matter of law and policy, your are presumed capable of sound judgment unless declared otherwise by a court of law, acting on expert medical testimony. Even if you live in Florida.
Also, each incident must be Verifiable
I learned each of the following events from reading the Orlando Sentinel.
So, with those conditions in mind, let us consider current Darwin Awards candidates from the Sunshine State.
The newly elected Florida Attorney General James Uthmeier, formerly Governor Ron DeSantis’ chief of staff, has sued Target for the retailer’s ‘leftist agenda that sexualized children.’
James Uthmeier, formerly Gov. Ron DeSantis’ chief of staff, speaks after being sworn in as Florida’s new attorney general in Tallahassee on Monday. (The Florida Channel) The lawsuit alleges that Target and its corporate leaders committed stock fraud by downplaying the risk of its DEI practices and by making false and misleading statements in its financial reports and proxy statements. The company downplayed the consumer boycotts that followed the launch of its PRIDE campaign focused on children and families in May and June of 2023, the lawsuit says.
“It featured extensive marketing and products directed to children as young as newborns and highlighted products by a ‘Satanist-inspired’ designer,” the lawsuit claimed.
Okay, that’s 10 points out of 10 for astoundingly stupid judgment, but 5 pounds for capable of sound judgment. The 5 points off are due to “products directed to children as young as newborns” and “Satanist-inspired designer.” If you’re that ignorant a superstitious peasant, you may be beyond the reach of sound judgment.Target said it warned shareholders repeatedly of the potential backlash by conservative and religious groups to its Pride Month campaigns. After being targeted by conservative groups in 2023, Target decided to drastically cut back its marketing campaign to the LGBTQ community, selling LGBTQ merchandise only in select stores and discontinuing gay-themed children’s clothing in all stores. It still sells clothing for children with LGBTQ-themed slogans online, and said it never marketed trans clothing to children.
The company’s share price fell after the removals began.
Got that? It appears that Target’s shareholders punished Target for wussing out and removing the Pride Month merchandise. That’s bad judgment on Target’s part, perhaps, but not as bad as Uthmeier, who’s spending Florida public’s money on fighting a Satanist-inspired designer.
Note to Floridians: Satan is not real. Even the designer says so. Only sadistic, manipulative outlets like the National Review, founded by a Yale student, or your new Attorney General, would try to parlay your gullibility into a medieval illiterate European peasant mindset. And why are you so gullible? What happened to you? Do you think there is such a thing as marketing to newborns? Did your parents waste the money they spent on your educations? Don’t you have other things to do with your money? Y’all ought to be ashamed of your sunshine state selves.Governor Ron DeSantis signed an immigration enforcement law, approved during a special legislative session last week, that would make entering the state illegally a crime, fund dozens of immigration enforcement jobs and end in-state tuition for Dreamers, immigrants who were brought by their parents to the United States as children without legal status.
“Florida always leads. We have a responsibility to enact policies that will help end the illegal immigration crisis once and for all, and our Republican leaders have been working tirelessly to do just that,“ DeSantis said.
Note to Govern DeSantis: Florida has more than 4.5 million immigrants, including those without permanent status. Immigrants represent more than a quarter of the state’s civilian workers. They make up 47% of the workforce in agriculture, forestry, fishing, hunting and mining; 38% in construction; and 25% in service jobs, such as entertainment, accommodation and food services, according to estimates by the nonpartisan Migration Policy Institute. According to a 2024 study by the Institute on Taxation and Economic Policy, Florida collected $1.8 billion in tax contributions from unauthorized immigrants in 2022.
Astoundingly stupid judgment, check - orating like a Zealot. Capable of sound judgment, presumably, under the law. Verifiable event, check.What have you got to say for yourselves, Florida? You voted for these Solons of wisdom. Now you’re losing money hand over fist. What’s wrong with you? And what are you going to do about it?
Knowing the makeup of people in Florida that vote you have to realize most are from somewhere else. I lived in FL for 20 years and have children that live there currently. It’s a magnet for stupidity from everywhere else and is consistently at the bottom in education nationally but it is infested with republicans from anywhere due to not having a state income tax. It used to be inexpensive to live there but now that its over run with republicans its as expensive as anywhere else to live and construction is rampant. They build entire towns where none existed with fake ‘chain outlet’ culture that never approaches reality of any sort.
Democrats exist but at some point got over run with the influx of the republican lemmings like rats on a free pizza.
Desantis is the walmart of demagogues…not quite trump but just a different flavor, just as dumb possibly dumber (that WAS a movie now its REALITY) just as evil but in the end a loser who will hold power as long as possible whether people like it or not. Its the unadulterated power they seek, they have little idea what to do with it once captured and have even less interest in trying to make peoples lives better as a result, they can only inflict pain on the populace and THAT turns them on. Republicans love being abused if they think the abuse is inflicted on some poor brown person exponentially more even though they hire these folks to ‘do the work that needs to be done’ while they ride around in gas guzzling pickup trucks and boats festooned with flags. A sad state of affairs that may only change when the entire state is literally under water in the next 20 years…it’s sad
The people of Florida have been the victims of this mini-me Trumper creating nonstop CHAOS for seven long years! DeSantis is a corrupt, petulant, wannabe dictator who is strongly disliked by most Floridians!